2:39pm :: Ha ha ha happy thanksgiving. No seriously, happy thanksgiving. Kind of a dull weekend. "I'm going to do my Christmas shopping early this year." Okay, you procrastinating fuck. Bought Dylan something last night. Thought about getting him this spider man thing that sits on your arm and you can shoot stuff with it. But then I was like "His mom will hate me for this" and I bought something else. Shhhh! Working today? Yes sir. NEED MONEY! Band practice is soon. Maybe 15 minutes. Leaving? Yes, very soon. No real thoughts today. Just a lot of empty air. The sky is beautiful today. What? Girl? Yes, I finally got up the courage to ask out the library girl. Selena, freshman, from the Valley, lives at the towers. Digits? Yes, maybe call Monday. Earlier? No, she's busy, no point. We'll see what happens. This makes me more confident though. Plenty of girls flirting with me (the Target cashier on Friday, what's that all about?) just need to find some I like. But like I said, we'll see how this develops. Sigur Ros' album is so beautiful. I remember that track 7 was the reason I wanted to play piano. It's just so good. I can wait for this one to end. I have time...? No. Oh, there is the dilemma of Christmas travel and cheer. But I'll settle this later. Gray skies over Galveston. I wish. Haven't been there for such a long time.

2:30pm :: Still tired, but not a stayed-up-too-late tired, more like an overly-exhausted tired. Sleep last night? Maybe 4 hours. Got here about 10 today. Why? Because I'm too cool for that shit. I keep going back to the library looking for that girl. Damn she's attractive, can't help but talk to her. Besides that. Beside itself. Looking at a web site today, I realized that there are just so many fucked up scary people out there hounding the internet. It reminded me of my stint with the low IQ psycho population (not worth mentioning at this time), and then I started to think of all those other things that have happened to me, that aren't really embarrassing, but they're just too fucked up to talk about. They might be funny to others, but when you think about the full implications and that it indeed really happened, you stop laughing. Interesting the way it works I guess. Hello? No, go away. Who's that laughing? Not me, I ate my bran flakes today. Shit out an army. "Run rabbit run, dig that hole, forget the sun. When at last the work is done, don't sit down it's time to dig another one"

What? No, GO.

2:47pm :: Are there any queers in the theatre tonight? Get 'em up against the wall.

Awesome. This weekend has been a little fucked up. Yesterday was fucked up but a bad day. Nadia called me indicating that she was with Julia wanting directions to Thai Spice. Nadia said something about her not being able to invite me, but Julia insisted. I saw why. There was a big group of 6, all asian. Julia had to move for me. I thought about leaving right away, but I thought that that would be worse than staying. Shouldn't have gone, but oh well. Band practice was alright, the show was the Octopus Project. Place was fucking packed. I spent the whole night just getting weirder trying to scare off the little girlie who insisted on sitting next to me. I'm so fucking tired. Both of them got drunk, and I was basically completely sober. But what can you do. Woodlands? NOW GO.

2:47am :: What? Why so late? Actually it's Monday, but screw it. My chest is tightening and the old watery J to the ITB coffee is wearing off. Jack Daniels and Cola in the bottle is actually beer. Why? Because they can't sell hard liquor at most places. Hoo-ah. Bring me my fountain pen. Cable is getting cut. I'm complaining too much of lack of time, fuck it. I like Adult Swim, Daily Show, Discovery Channel, fuck it. I'll watch PBS when I need that glowing screen fix. One more man, just five minutes, that's it, I just need a little more to get me through the week. Just got an MSN name - "colinlikesmen" Reading this now? See if I'm online. I won't be. Is this a joke? Shut up and eat your pie. The joke determined to be the funniest by researchers isn't really that funny. Why? Because they excluded all jokes that could possibly offend anyone. What's the fun in that? That eliminates like 90% of all jokes. Our humor is based on making fun of others. "I can't drive tonight" I'm thinking Louisiana this coming weekend (yes, turkey day). Need to leave town again. Where are all the women any way? Probably at home wondering where the men are. Screw it. I need my fix. My own pleasure dome in the sky. Smoke opium and shoot fireworks all night. Scare the shit out of racoons. Or maybe birds? I'm hungry, but screw it. Incoherent enough? I love sleep deprivation.

9:13am :: I decided that I'll actually do work today. When Pallavi comes in I'll ask her about this asp stuff that I don't understand. Whenever she comes in that is. Damn, I love that shit. Thinking about graduation this morning. The CLASS advisor was like "I put a note on your record saying that you've taken care of your Chinese minor" but then there's nothing there. Which means ample bullshit for me. I might try to figure this out soon. I think I need to file with UH, but I'm not sure. This is ridiculous. Close to running out of gas? How about just piss in the tank? I need to take mushrooms and listen to ambient music. Spend hours on the Boards of Canada web site. It's almost the weekend before thanksgiving. I might go Christmas shopping Sunday, try to find a Big Lots, maybe check out the mall in The Woodlands or Willowbrook. The Woodlands sucks though.

One more story. The faculty lounge here on the 3rd floor of the TECH.UH.EDU building had a coded/card-swipe lock system installed a while ago. People said that they wanted this so that the lounge would be "private". So what happened? People prop the door open with a door stop usually. When the door is closed, the people who don't carry around their cards get pissed off and run around in circles while the people with no cards seem panic and jump around with their empty coffee mugs. What does this say???? The vocal minority (people with a strong opinion) will often win the first battle, but in the end, the majority will win the war, through subversion and intimidation. Fuck the man. I'm becoming a libertarian, a half-ass Communist, right now. GO.

2:45pm :: Stayed up way too late last night. I said "I'm not going with them tonight" but of course I did. Oh well, day went alright. Lots of work on my BOC site. I think I'm becoming obsessed. I realized just now that this is my nature-loving part of life, and it makes me wonder what we'll be the next stage. Money loving? Man loving? I don't know, I'll just have to see. I feel like something to eat soon, maybe burrito tonight. MISSION BURRITO. That place kicks ass. I might go over there as soon as Geogaddi finishes. Placed a couple of amazing pictures on the boc site. I figure that I need to get a decent camera because I want to do some focus stuff. It goes back to what I realized about music, I want to take pictures not out of competition or because I think I'm awesome at photography, but because I want specific pictures that have a specific look, and I haven't seen anyone take pictures like those which I want. Anyway, that's kind of low on my list of things to do right now. I ate a carrot today, you should be proud.

12:11pm :: Gutentaag. Two page ideas: Board of Canada tribute, and information on graphical html editor-driven html (like the bgproperties attribute). Why this sudden desire to create? It's always been there. Damn. Lots of running around taking pictures today. Found some interesting places too, places where you could just sit alone for days without being bothered. At UH? Yes ma'am. S&R mostly. Don't forget your jacket. Missed the Leonid shower last night, but there was a full moon. I caught it last year, but I'll try to catch it next year, if there's no full moon. Drive down to Surfside. I thought about it, but then the drinking started. I'm going to audio record more stuff also. Recorded myself walking around and then playing piano, sounded nice. Where is Jimmy Eat World when you need him? He said he'd be here. The hell with him, cake and ice cream, NOW. GO. Why is it necessary to make English so high-context? Or music for that matter? Can't we just all go along? And make our way through life without being a little more challenged with the prospect of double-sided communication? No. Who wants cake?

11:50am :: Work? Yes, ma'am. Need money. Now. Maybe later, yes maybe. Had a thought EARLY this morning when I was in that wake/sleep state. What I indentify as a trend in preference of curved rectangles over straight, 90deg rectangles and squares signals to me that there has been a positive shift in perception. A rounded rectangle, with edges curved at any angle, is I think representative of imperfection, while the more straight 90deg rectangles are more representative of perfection. Not really imperfection, but much more flawed than perfection, which I guess would be imperfection. Why is this good/positive/mac n' cheese? It signals to me that people are beginning to accept a world of no right angles, straight lines, black and white, or easily-understandable outcomes. We may tend to now immmmmmmerse ourselves more in contradiction, obtuse and acuteness, and maybe the beauty of flaw. However, this could also be simply related to the development of the rounded rectangle in graphics programs, and the ensuing integration of them into our accepted range of "looks cool"; our trend. Another explanation is that it's fallical, and that we are all obsessed with penises (nan de bei nu de). I often look at my own designs and think "Why does my stuff always look so sexual?" Maybe it's just me being self-concious and forcing myself to look at it like that. I've been looking at everything like that for years, but really it's hard to miss. How everything "modern" we've designed is just based around simple principles in nature, and more than likely, sex. I can't express the thoughts now. Library in half an hour. I'll watch a piece of shit movie on a piece of shit television and listen on piece of shit headphones. My ears should be raw after this. Supposed dinner tonight in Chinatown. More annoyances. I'm getting tired of speaking. I think I might pretend I'm mute so that I can just write my thoughts down to people instead of constantly having to deal with their bullshit. Maybe I'll just pretend I'm deaf. Just walk by them. People never like talking to someone who cannot communicate well.

One more useless story that is so representative of intrepidity in the face of the darkness of human social conformity and unconcious affirmation. Yesterday, Texas Tech vs. UT football game. Tech had the ball at the Texas 45, quarterback threw a touchdown but a flag was thrown out just before he threw the ball. Everyone on both teams went to the inzone, but the quarterback stayed at the line of scrimage since he knew that it was coming back. No one was with him. The announcers noticed this and circled him in their little yellow chalk, gawking at his flagrant deviance. How could he not be part of the team? How could he just ignore the will of the majority even though he was right? Well, he didn't for long. After about 60 seconds, he went down also. But it was still prolific, in its own way.

7:55am :: What what what? Registration in 5 (YES, FIVE) minutes. I think it's sad that something that I have to anticipate something that most people just do at the last minute. I have the windows on my computer up so I can see the schedule quickly with the typed schedule. Found out yesterday that KIKK 95.7 changed to a "jazz" station. I listened to it and it's more like "Black Adult Contemporary", sounded like they wanted to play Luther Vandross and Marvin Gaye 24/7, but couldn't afford that much of them. Kind of disappointing. Next thing we need is to get rid of at least some of these god damn tejano station. I mean shit man, do this many people in Houston really listen to tejano? There are like 4 stations that play nothing but tejano or ranchero
8:08am :: I don't know why they even have that fucking on line enrollment system when it crashes and burns every semester. So, I had to go to the phone system but I still got all my classes (yay). The course with Elkins (4397) is another internet class, which means I now have two for next semester. Sounds like I'll have a lot of idle time this Spring. But of course, that's just fine. What to do for the rest of the live-long day? Well, I'll be stopping by MANA 3350 in a few minutes, then over to the "other class". I woke up at like 5:40 today, my neighbor leaves at like 6am every morning, and I'm leaving probably around 3 today. What you gonna do about, punk bitch? That's what I thought... Kinda scary though: LAST SEMESTER? Yes, last semester, thanks for cutting my hair, now GO AWAY. Job search? Maybe start in March or April. How about on my bday? Maybe, we'll see. I imagining I-10 near Deming, NM. Subtle, engaged.

10:23am :: I was thinking about it yesterday, and I'm thinking about it again today. Fugue or other random dissociative travel in relation to sexual frustration. Ever since I read that Edward Abbey book about Everett Ruess and Thoreau, I've been wondering about the reasoning for my own insatiable desire to travel. I can't help believing that I don't travel out of misdirected sexual desire, but rather a greater desire and quest for solitude. I assert this by recalling times when I had been very sexually active but still had a desire to travel, albeit with my partner at the time. I still have yet to find another person who enjoys travelling for the same reasons I do. Everyone (although some are hesistant to admit it) travels for the purpose of meeting new people. Tyler wants to go to Colorado just to get laid I think. Well, if that's what you want... I'm still unsure as to whether depriving myself sexually is beneficial or not (up until recently I had done so fairly unwillingly, but now I find myself less keen on setting myself back into the hopeless grind of the sexually-active world) since I now believe that our greatest emotional capabilities are often spent and often wasted on affection for a member of the opposite sex. It is a little saddening and maybe even disappointing to think about this, but lately I can't help believing it because it just makes sense. Speaking of travel, I saw a wreck last night on the way home. Hufsmith-Kohrville and Boudreaux. Some stupid bitch in one of those 5,000-pound mini-vans rear-ended a motorcycle guy at a stop sign. I was right behind the mini-van so I got out and offered my cell phone but they didn't need it and I just asked "Is he alright? Is he concious?" What a stupid question. But it kind of fascinated me. This figure, lying on the road, somewhere between life death and sleep, so helpless. I left pretty quickly though, did not really want to hang around. ¤

1:45pm :: CORRECTION, the book was not by Edward Abbey, I got confused with another book I had just read. This book was by John P. O'Grady titled "Pilgrims to the Wild". Kraftman away!

1pm :: Well well well. The bullshit is finally over for the time being. The presentation went fairly well, so that is now out of the picture. I finally get to write this one from home, which I guess is good. I hung out with Nadia and her friend Julia last night. Played pool at Rudyards, they played a Modest Mouse album. I think it's funny that all of them have names ending in "ia". But Julia wants to move to LA and they said that I should go with them. I was just like "Why not? I haven't got anything else to do." Which is the truth. We'll see though. Either way, I'm still going on my escapade to the great frozen southern Rockies. Today is band practice. We played on Thurs also. I was late for like the 3rd time because I fell asleep while I was waiting to leave. WON'T HAPPEN THIS TIME. Lunch was Boston Market cornbread (1/2 dozen for $1.99 w/o tax) and a few chips. I really should pick up something else before I get wherever I'm going. I can't stop thinking about beating the shit about that fucker that keeps coming in my garage. I came home yesterday to find the door slightly open. I was lying down in bed a couple of days ago and I got the feeling like I had been punched in the mouth. It made me believe that I was going to get punched in the mouth soon, but who knows. I'm especially paranoid, maybe my stove is giving off CO or THC or something. I need to replace that fucking smoke detector with a sticker that says "KILL WHITEY". I also need my Britney Loves Pro Tools t-shirt, but that will be another day. JET PILOT, AWAY! btw, I'm now the Kraftman.

8:30am :: I have not written for several days because I've been busy off of my asshole. Saturday's test did not go well (it was ridiculously hard), but Saturday's show was pretty cool. I like going to these shows with no alcohol now, it seems to make things better. I danced a little bit, but I'm really not into that. Stayed home all day yesterday and watched "1000 Eyes of Dr. Mabuse", a German film by Fritz Lang. In writing the evaluation, I figured out what it's really about, and found some interesting things about the characters' names. However, this is besides the point. Wednesday it will end again, one of these stretches of endless tripe. I do plan to vote tomorrow, but I will have to drive to freaking Mac Gregor Elementary to do so. I should have early-voted, but oh well. I'd like to see my favored candidates win, but I won't be incredibly disappointed if they don't, because it'll be the same old crap no matter what happens. Damn, I also need to get a picture for November for this thing. Groceries? Alcohol, deoderant. Mission? Look for signs of life in surroundings but if certainly is doubtful. Until then I'll be making cakes and such. Or at least trying my best to.